Well–no new LOST this week so I was forced to get out my Season 1 DVD set. The pick for the night was Episode 1.15: “Homecoming”, otherwise known as “The one where Ethan gets squatted”.
There’s a reason why this post is as much a “Squatworthy” post as it is a “Getting Lost” one.–The way Ethan got 0wned, I’m surprised that Charlie didn’t get a little Squat-Squat-Melee in there.
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Squatworthy, our latest new feature on squatsquat.com, highlights things in the media which either got 0wned or deserve to be. Think of Squatworthy as our version of the Bat Signal–A herald to the Squatters of the world to join us in the fight against things that Suxx0rs.
It’s purely coincidental that our first Squatworthy highlights something video game related–Bloodrayne: The Movie. Bloodrayne, which cost around $50 million to make and promote, has only grossed an embarrassing $2.4 million in three weeks!
Not having seen the film, I can’t go into detail about what made it flop, but from a quick look at IMDB, I can think of three reasons.
The people have spoken with their dollar, and Bloodrayne will go down in history as yet another substandard video game adaptation. We can only hope this disaster will keep other, more beloved, game franchises from suffering the same fate.
Leeched from Joystiq
On this week’s episode of “I’ve just LOST another hour of my life”, Charlie’s losing his mind and having weird dreams about Claire’s baby being in danger. But is he taking those drugs? Is he having withdrawals from not taking them? His dreams seemed Island-induced; Are they? Who Knows!
Charlie’s dreams lead to him causing a fire as a diversion so he can grab the baby and baptize him. For this, Locke gives him an unwarranted, yet squatworthy, beatdown on the beach.
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This week’s episode of “That Castaways Show” featured tons of Jack, a little bit of The Others, and zero of Michael.
While I found it to be a little dissatisfying, I can see they’re leading up to something better. Actually, just the preview for next week seemed more exciting that the whole episode itself!
As usual, the discussion at TV Squad on this week’s LOST shindig was very enlightening
I thought I was the only one who noticed that German Luger. I wasn’t.
Talk amongst yah-selves…
So my latest addiction you ask? Starcraft: Brood War. (sorry, I don’t have a pic. Google dat.) Despite being almost 10 years old, this classic RTS is still entertaining and has a decent sized online community to boot. Unfortunately, I got pwned all day yesterday. I used to be good at Warcraft….key words: used to.
So what is this uber-micro you may ask? Once again the fine folks over at Pure Pwnage have coined a phrase that Team Squat has adopted. Hopefully that above link to wikipedia worked, so you can read a more technical description. Yet, it still can’t capture the hilarious movement that Pure Pwnage has associated with the term:
Got teh micro?
I thought this deserved a spot on SquatSquat.Com:
Man finds out about affair from his parrot.
So the parrot pretty much squatted the infidelious (be that such a word?) girlfriend. Which of course leads to yet another squat…The Pwnd By Parrot Squat, also known as Squak Dat, haha.
Worst part about this story? The owner of the parrot had to part with it since it wouldn’t stop calling the name of his girlfriend’s secret lover. That stinks. Though methinks a parrot would be a good way of keeping tabs on a house wife. Muaha. 
Joystiq reports that Uwe Boll, the man responsible for several recent floaters in the hollywood toilet bowl (Bloodrayne, Alone in the Dark), has been given a copy of the official Metal Gear movie script.
Despite his less than sterling reputation among movie-goers, someone must like him since most video game to movie adaptations land in his lap these days. Lets hope that he doesn’t get his hands on Metal Gear.
Personally, I don’t find the idea of a Metal Gear movie that exciting. The games, while very cinematic in their presentation, depend largely on the immersive gameplay to draw you into the story. With the exeption of MGS3:Snake Eater, if you remove the gameplay, than you’re left with a pretty wacked out story of secret societies, espionage, and cloning.
However, take Kojima out of the picture and throw Uwe Boll in and the movie loses all hope of being anything but a bomb
So, the only thing left to consider is:
Will this movie be similar in craptitude or worse than — [Insert Dolph Lundgren Movie Title Here]?
Leeched from Joystiq
As a person who has renamed his PSP, the BRB (Bath Room Buddy) — I can not in good conscience condemn anyone who uses their gadgets while sitting on the John.
I just found out what everyone else knows. LOST Pwns. I’ll admit it — I was hesitant to give this show a chance due to my prejudices against “big mystery” shows. (I’ll never get back all those years I lost to that X-Files conspiracy garbage)
But a couple episodes in, and I’m hooked on LOST. I don’t care that it’s probably going to end in huge disappointment. I’m just enjoying the ride like everyone else.
In this week’s installment, we learned that Eko was Über-evil. Prior to getting stranded his favorite leisure activities were cutting throats and smuggling heroin. Sounds like a great premise for another GTA clone.
Mr. Eko: Bulletproof. Anyone? Anyone?
All jokes aside, there will definitely be a LOST game. And you better believe I’ll buy it! It’ll look good on my shelf next to all my Law & Order games.
Anyway, click the link to see a rundown of last night’s episode, and some screens of what was in that shadow thing…
I laughed for quite a while on this one. If you like Star Trek at ALL, you’ll get a kick out of it…
My favorite? Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and ‘Ensign Gomez’ beam down to a planet. Which one isn’t coming back?
