Squatworthy: Whoever named the Nintendo “Wii”
Posted May 4, 2006 at 6:41 pm by Spamalot
In case you haven’t heard yet, Nintendo has changed the name of their “next-generation” console from the “Revolution” to the “Nintendo Wii”.
Let me start off by saying that I know this site isn’t the first to flame the big N for their indiscrection in naming their system after a kiddy word for a bodily function… But they do deserve it.
Anyway, we’ll get over it. Although I’m still not going to feel right saying
it.
“Hey Tronsta, let’s go to my house and play some Wii”
*ugh*
Here’s Nintendo’s weak defense for their lame branding.
All this being said, I’ll probably still get one. I want to get my Super
Smash Bros. on!
Viva la Nintendowy! (It just doesn’t have the same ring does it…)
May 5th, 2006 at 10:38 am
In Japanese, Wii probably means “Warrior of Light, Sovereign Saviour of all Justice and Peace, Destroyer of Evil, Soldier of Honor”, but in English, it means urine. Nice.
May 5th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
Lol, well said tronsta.
Now that I’ve flamed them, here’s some props for nintendo (and some more squats!)
*Props:*
- Making great games that are super unconventional (Donkey Konga, Mario Kart DS, etc.)
- “Rehashing” old favorite franchises while still being innovative and creating new ones. All this with inferior, cheaper hardware. That’s awesome game design. You know that game developers are talented when a game called “Mario Kart” is more L337 than 85% of “real” racing games out there.
*Squats:*
- Saying “Graphics don’t matter”. *If graphics don’t matter, why am I buying your new system, T00ls!* OF COURSE graphics matter. As graphics get better, new TYPES and GENRES of games are made that are more immersive. If graphics don’t matter, than “pong” should be as good as “top spin”.
*However, if your game is garbage to begin with,* than beautiful graphics is just like polishing a dogturd. “Graphics don’t matter” if your game bites. Polished turds like “Full Auto” for XBox 360 prove this point.
- Saying “Your average consumer doesn’t even know what 1080 is” (About the Wii not having hi-def). Yes we do, and we care if its there or not. *Insulting your customer’s intelligence is not a good way to sell consoles.*
May 5th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
I will say that I have attempted to polish a dogturd. The result is as one might expect…an AWESOME looking dogturd!
May 6th, 2006 at 10:13 am
I don’t care what nintendo names it….I’m still going to call it the nintendo Wii-ggles.
May 6th, 2006 at 10:15 am
oh….and when it comes to Super Smash Bros. and Mario Kart….all your skills are belong to Wiggy.
SSB- Don’t mess with Samus
MK- It’s all about Yoshi, son. Reespekt.
May 6th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
Wiggy, please. Fox owns you. And you know it.
May 7th, 2006 at 10:02 pm
Dude, im feening for this junk. I wish I had a gamecube,
wait. bump dat.
I’m gonna grab a 64 from Gamestop and we’re having an old-school Super Smash Brothers Tourney.
We can throw in some mario kart and perfect dark for good measure…
Whadaya say n00bs?
May 8th, 2006 at 9:02 am
I’m down.
May 8th, 2006 at 6:56 pm
I’m majorly down. I am amazing at Smash for 64.
May 8th, 2006 at 8:33 pm
Amazing? I dunno about that. The finals will come down to Bri and I for sure. Unless Spam and Tronny have a orb of SSB micro resting in their bellies.
I’m up for dat. I’ll bring 360 so we can play the latest version of Perfect Dark. i love me some mario kart as well. I think the 64 version was the best. Super Nintendo was real close while Double Dash was in a distant last. That game was semi-dawgy.
May 9th, 2006 at 8:21 am
Forget PD altogether. Lets keep it Smash and Kart.
Let me know folks. Please, if possible make it a Saturday or Sunday night. Fridays are no go for me.
May 9th, 2006 at 8:28 am
Yeah, dude, you just killed it by suggesting PD for 360, that game is kinda whack. LOL
So everybody look for good 64 deals on ebay and send them to me. Maybe something with ocarina of time, smash, and mario kart.
May 9th, 2006 at 4:20 pm
I’d rather have my prostate exams done by Dr. Edward J. Scissorhands than play Perfect Dark for 360. And I’m booty in SSB’s but I’ll come for the pwnage and stay for the hot wings.
How’s June 4th, Sunday, for everyone?
May 9th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
June 4th is perfect for meza.
May 10th, 2006 at 8:38 am
WII - HI RES http://www.shacknews.com/screens.x/wii/Wii+Hardware/1/wii_hardware/060509_wii_05.jpg
May 12th, 2006 at 9:50 am
NES - Mario, Donkey Kong, Zelda, Metroid
SNES - Mario, DK, Zelda, Metroid, StarFox
N64 - Mario, DK, Zelda, StarFox
GC - Mario, DK, Zelda, StarFox, Metroid
Wii - (i’ll just take a shot in the dark here…)
Mario, DK, Zelda, Metroid, Starfox
oh and let’s not forget Smash Bros, Mario Kart, Kirby, FZero, etc, etc.