Keeping in tune with the whole “intensify your Monday night until you dookie all over yourself from sheer delight” theme that 24 has been known to impart, last night’s episode, while short on the body count, was high in anus-tighening suspense! A special German agent, a skanky generic European information broker, Robocop, and a spineless President round out the highlights of this amazing episode.
So instead of my usual rant, here’s a few highlights of the show:
1) Robocop escapes! Poor little Tony Almeida. But that’s what happens when you lose focus. Try to get revenge your way and you pay the price. Chemical Cop, Peterson (I forgot Peter Weller’s character’s first name) gets away after he pwnz Tony in the chest with the very needle of death Tony was trying to stick Peterson with. If you’re gonna die, don’t die by your own weapon. That’s just embarrassing.
2) Skanky generic European guy with skanky generic European girl turns out to be a pretty cool special German Agent. The skanky generic European girls turns out to be just a skanky generic European girl. Though she’s a little MORE than that, I guess. Jack totally screwed the German guy over, and while I understand WHY he did it, it can’t bode well for the US to have an “ally” mad at you, like German. The German Agent was cool, hope they bring him back again.
3) Martial Law in LA!?!? YOU KNOW some dudes are gonna get caps busted in their bums now, lol. Telling Compton they gotta stay indoors? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure the Military will prevail, but geez, there’s gonna be some buckshot in the old town tonight.
4) 3 black guys. 1 dead. 2 on the way? I’m the last guy to scream conspiracy, but I can’t ignore the fact that black people in movies and TV shows have the shortest lifespan. Without going deep into that subject, 24 is really balanced right on the line. The black president, first in history (woohoo!) is assassinated (darnit!). But now his brother is on the way to HQ with some SPECIAL INFORMATION!!! OOOOOO! Awesome right? Well, in a completely locked down city, with military everywhere, SOMEHOW a big black VAN full of masked TERRORISTS escapes notice and attacks Palmer’s brother. BAH! In the shows defense, the brother drove really badly while being persued. I mean comeon, what van can outrun a Mercedes? And who sits there and looks over as a van pulls up and the side door opens up and DUDES IN BLACK MASKS POINT GUNS AT YOU!!! I’ve played WAY too many video games to go out like that. If that was me, I’d hit the brakes and tap the van’s back tires to take them out like in Burnout, then I’d hit the nitro, slam into the opened side of the van, and make terrorist flapjacks. But NOOOOO Palmer’s brother gets flipped in his car. Though, he survives! But now the terrorists are on foot chasing him!! This doesn’t look too good for surviving black guy number 2. If they kill him off, I’m boycotting the show. >:( Though we still have Curtis, a cool soldier dude with a lazy eye or something, how do you let a guy ambush you off a roof like that?? At least he didn’t die. Yet. I like these two surviving black characters. Granted, they’ve been lifting white wigs faster than British Parliment on the show, but still, let’s have some surviving African Americans, k?
5) So the skanky info broker gives up an interesting tidbit…Audrey Reins sold her the info that she then in turn sold to the terrorists!?!?? BWAH-BWAH-BWAH-WHAT!?!? Scene from next week, Jack chokes out Audrey. I knew she was guilty. It’s all over her face.
Until next week…
BEEP…BOOP…BEEP…BOOP…BEEP…BOOP…
Yet another week goes by and I didn’t watch 24… Hmmm. I gotta program that VCR.
I was playing SF with wiggy, puttin the hurtin on him with Urien.
We also had an Akuma v. Akuma match and I grabbed him out of a teleport with the Shungokusatsu AKA teh RD AKA “Here I comeeee!”
Twas hawt.
how much do i love 24, let me count the ways…ok i won’t count, but finally i have somewhere to shout it’s praises.
dude i feel you about the black characters. while i feel proud they lasted as long as they did, it’s not looking too good. and even tho Curtis is still alive, he’s been shot/beaten countless times. i’m sure he gets tired of reading the script and seeing, “Curtis gets shot/choked/jumped/shot again/double crossed/cheated out of a job/etc”.
i feel you on Palmers brother going out like a GT noob. if i’m in an E Class Mercedes (what it looked like), you not gettin me in the A Team van!
i want me one of them PDA destroying SD cards. not sure where it would come in handy, but it looks cool.
my wife doesn’t think Audrey is guilty. she thinks she was being used. i now do not trust my wife. LOL. jokes. but seriously, Audrey is going down. i don’t think the chick was lying. she didn’t seem to have a reason to lie in my opinion. especially with Jack’s firm grip on her neck.
we shall see.
First off *rex kwon do* jack bauer would pwn Akuma. He’d draw his gun, beat him with it, then make Akuma give up all his fighting secrets. Jack’s super is the Raging Backstab, and he would blow up Akuma’s PDA just like the German’s haha.
Second off *rex kwon do* yeah I think the skanky girl is telling the truth. Jack Bauer, 1337 gUr1 ch0k3r, lolz.
Third off *rex kwon do* we use the buddy system here at Squat Squat.Com, no more flyin solo!
Forth off *rex kwon do* I’m making this post from my Sidekick, W W
BTW if I had that PDA destroying SD card, I’d give it to Spammy and be like “yo, check it out, it’s a demo of Leisure Suit Larry, Magne Cum Laude 2″. heehehehehehehehehehehe
i loved this episode. once every few hundred minutes things go Jack’s way. he was making crap HAPPEN this week! i liked Desmond as the spy. “JACK! YOUR WORD AINT WORTH $%&* BRUTHUH!” He’s a good actor and that information broker chick was smokin’. I’ll say I didn’t see Chloe getting caught like that. And I didn’t see her kinda getting away with it by telling the truth and Jack makin’ some miracles happen. As for the A-Team van nabbing the Benz. YEAH RIGHT. Although the scene where they blew out the tire that rolled his car, that put Palmer’s bro in the ditch and subsequently a drainage pipe was intense. this show owned me this time around. i smoked a cigarette afterward.
Chloe squats Authority. Every hour of the day. Bless that rebel.
Tronsta: Here spammy, check out this W8rez on an SD card
Spammy: OK, cool
(Tronsta darts away)
(Spammy inserts card, PDA sizzles)
Spammy: Nooooooooo!
(Spammy puts gun to his own head and paces back in forth in middle of street, crying and looking at a picture of him and his PDA on their first date)
Chloe is so annoying yet so adorable. I didn’t think she’d get busted either, though who knows what will happen once all this craziness is over.
Oh yeah, duh, I forgot. War3z is a Spammy’s best friend lol. I was rolling when I read that, paces back and forth in middle of street ROFLMBOADT!!
I can see it now, on Spike TV, America’s Craziest Police Videos:
Narrarator(That annoying guy that narrarates all those police video shows): Franklin Park, New Jersey. A man has taken to the streets with a GUN, endangering EVERYONE in his path.
(Shows clip of Spammy pacing in the middle of the street)
Onlookers are TERRIFIED as the young man threatens to take his own life!
(Shows clips of a few people gasping, pointing)
The young man is at the END of his rope. You can hear his screams of frustration as police move in.
(Shows clips of Spammy screaming “PDA! MY PDA!!!” with subtitles underneath)
Traffic has been backed up SO BADLY that the Police decided to call in the SWAT team. Along with them, is Michael Smith, Champion Sharpshooter.
Mike Smith: I didn’t know what to expect. All they told me was a Puerto Rican had a gun out in the middle of the street so I prepared for the worst.
Narrarator: With the precision learned only after many years of hardcore training, Corporal Michael Smith takes down the perpatrator with a well placed slug between the eyes.
(Shows clip of Spammy pacing, screaming “PDA! MY PDA!!!! MY…(Master Chief dying sound))
Narrarator: Thus ends this TERRIFYING ordeal for the residents of Franklin Township.
Spammy’s Neighbor, being interviewed: He seemed like a normal guy. He would say hello and mind his own business. He always wore this shirt, though. It said “Not now, I’m busy”. Whenever I’d try and ask him over for dinner or ask him for a favor, he would just point to the shirt and keep walking”
(Show ends with clips of the entire ordeal, ending with Spammy kicking over like Master Chief sniped in the mask.)
LOL. That’s hillarious.
Just incase any government agencies are reading this, I buy all my software…
Just ignore all my romz…