“Cutting your taint into ribbons.” Worst mental picture. Ever.

I remember in my later years pwning Freddy in my dreams. He was chasing me around when I suddenly realized that I could do whatever I want. It’s my dream! *Samuel L. Jackon beer style* I proceeded to fly around and beat him down. Crouching Tiger Hidden Squat dat!

For a while, I would wake up like every night screaming in fear cause of Freddy dreams. After a while, I must’ve grown out of it, because I remember having a dream where I stabbed Freddy in his gut with his claws and threw him out my window. After that, no more Freddy nightmares.

Freddy got 0wned. If I could go back to that dream, I’d throw in a Squat-Squat-Melee for good measure!

*smacks Jason with the guitar as he is getting up*

*struts around the ring*

Yeah this game was rough. But it got real easy once you figured out how to dodge Jason’s knives in 3D mode. Of course in 2D mode, all you could do was try to jump over his knives, but most of the time you landed on them, cutting your taint into ribbons.

*throws up hand signs for “3-D”*

I’d rather have to deal with Voorhees than someone uber like Freddy Krueger.

But I would totally Pwn Jason in R.L. Him and his Mom Dukes. I would pull his dirty hockey jersey over his head and send him flying with the gravity gun. Then I’d call Wiggy over and we’d give Momma Vorhees the “Dudley Death Drop” off of a ladder!

SQUATALITY!

I used to let the children die while I ran around looking for weapons strong enough to take down the massive killer. As you can guess, I got pwned and squatted by the hockey mask wearing psycho.