So I finished Half Life 2 for Xbox. Let me just say officially…wow. Hands down, greatest single player FPS experience EVER! Not even trying to puff that up. While I only played the demo of F.E.A.R., I can say that Half Life 2 beats it out since F.E.A.R. doesn’t have much in terms of gameplay innovation. It’s a runner and a gunner. Don’t get me wrong, F.E.A.R. is awesome and has an amazing story, but gameplay in HL2 is unparelleled.

So this leads me to my biggest squat ever.

So we at SquatSquat.Com have quite the affinity for squatting things. Duh. We’ve all, unconciously, have squatted NPC’s in single player games. Why? Because we can. Half Life 2 is RIFE with all manner of unorthodox squatting opportunities. Squatting head craps is pretty great, especially since they are SO very annoying. Squatting living characters was a hoot, but my grandest squat of all time happened once I finally got back to City 17 and attempted to break into the Citadel. One of your many(and useless) squad members says it perfectly: “Now that the resistance has gotten so close, they’ve given the streets to the Striders.” If you don’t know what a Strider looks like, take a gander. Nifty eh? Now imagine fighting one…on foot. They’re guns take you out in about 3 seconds of sustained fire. Teh hawt. Now imagine fighting 2 at once. You find yourself twice doing such a thing, and it’s such an emotional ride, once defeated, you have no choice but to SQUAT DAT!

So here’s the setup…there’s a box of rockets somewhere on this battlefield, a battlefield which is basically a city square in front of a huge bank, now taken over by the combine and locked down. There’s downed trees, huge craters in the ground, and buildings lining the perimeter, with two Striders walking around inside shooting at you and your fellow resistance fighters. An NPC tells you there is a box of rockets out there somewhere. As you can guess, nothing but rockets do any kind of real damage to Striders, and each one requires at least 8 direct hit rockets to take down. The 3 rocket limit you can carry ain’t gonna cut it, so you have to find those extra rockets. That’s the tough part, they could be anywhere. Running around, trying not to get riddled with bullets, you finally find the rockets. WIth some smart use of cover and some well placed rockets, the Striders go down for the count.

What’s left to do? I only regret I don’t have the means to make a little animated GIF of Gordon Freeman squatting a downed Strider.

Needless to say, I was a squatting arTEEST, and gave the huge corpse of the Striders everything from the Machine Gun Squat to the Squat-Squat-Melee with Freeman’s patented crow bar. It was a sight to be seen.

So what’s your biggest squat ever?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 4th, 2006 at 2:59 pm and is filed under FPS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.